Joke 1:-
At a hotel....
Customer:Hey! tea is cold man.
Waiter:It is from Assam,sir.
Joke 2:-
Manohar went to market to a market to buy a hen.
Retailer:What do you want,sir?
Manohar:I want a hen.
Retailer:Which one you want,sir?
Manohar:Actually I don't know what rates will be here.
Retailer:Big one is 150/- rupees and small one is 50/- rupees,sir.
Manohar:Then take this 50/- rupees.I will take this one after it becomes big.
Retailer:What!
Joke 3:-
Shanti went to the shop owner with a sarry that she bought from him.
Shanti:What is this? After washing this saree it became asmall chunni.
Owner:Ma'am,you have bought this with 50% discount.Thats why it happend so.
Joke 4:-
Sardar ordered a cup of milk at the hotel.
Server:Sir,you ever drink tea.For every general holiday you prefer coffee.What is special for this day to drink milk?
Sardar:Today is optional holiday.Thats why....
Monday, August 25, 2008
CINEMA
Joke 1:-
Producer:Oh! All my money is gone.Waste cinema.
Director:Sir,don’t worry.One dialogue was a big hit.
Producer:Oh! All my money is gone.Waste cinema.
Director:Sir,don’t worry.One dialogue was a big hit.
CLASS ROOM
Joke 1:-
Teacher:Karan, explain me how do chicks come out from eggs?
Karan:It is very surprising for me how did they enter into it first?
Joke 2:-
Teacher:where do we get drinking water from?
Student:From water bottle teacher.
Joke 3:-
Teacher:Ramu combine both these sentences into a single sentence; “I am
coming to school on a bicycle, I saw a dead body”.
Ramu:I saw a dead body coming to school on a bicycle.
Joke 4:-
Teacher:Krishna can a kangaroo jumps higher than WTC towers?
Krishna:Yes, teacher.
Teacher:How?
Krishna:Because towers can’t jump.
Joke 5:-
Teacher:Ravi why did you come late?
Ravi:When I was on the way a man was searching for his hundred rupees note
which fell down.
Teacher:Good, then you helped him.
Ravi:No teacher, I stood on that 100/- rupee note until he went off so I was
late.
Joke 6:-
Teacher:Bunny what is the plural of the word ‘rat’?
Bunny:Its rats, teacher.
Teacher:Good Bunny. You are very clever. Now tell me what is the plural of
the word ‘girl’?
Bunny:Twin girls, teacher.
Teacher:Oh! No!
Joke 7:-
Principal:John teja why so many complaints on you? What do you do in the
class room?
John teja: Nothing, sir.
Principal:that’s why I am asking you, you fool.
Joke 8:-
Teacher:Ram, let that be I have given you 2 rabbits and other 2 after
sometime and another 2. Now what is the no. of rabbits?
Ram:7, teacher.
Teacher:Are you sure?
Ram:Yes, teacher.
(Teacher replaced rabbits with apples and asked him the same question)
Teacher:Now tell me how many no. of apples are there?
Ram:6, teacher.
Teacher:Then why did you say 7 rabbits at first?
Ram:Because I already have one at my home.
Joke 9:-
Teacher:When did Akbar born?
Chanti:I don’t know teacher.
Teacher:It was written 1542-1605. Can’t you look and tell?
Chanti:Oh! I thought it was his phone number.
Joke 10:-
Teacher:Do you know why the population growth is very high in our country.
It is because of the fact that for every second on woman gives birth to a new
kid.
Teacher:Venkat! What are you thinking about without listening to the class
going on?
Venkat:I was thinking of how to stop population growth.
Teacher:Can you tell me how can we stop?
Venkat:you told that for every second a woman gives birth then if we find
that woman and stop her from doing so, we can easily stop population
growth.
Joke 11:-
Teacher:How much is 5+7?
Kiran:12,teacher.
Teacher:Good,then how much is 7+5?
Kiran:21,teacher.Don't think that I don't know that you have asked in the
reverse order.
Joke 12:-
Social teacher:Where is Pakistan located in the map?
Venkat swamy:I don't know teacher.
Social teacher:You don't know where it is? Stand up on the bench.
Venkat swamy:Can it be visible from the bench,teacher?
Joke 13:-
When teacher entered into a classroom,the whole class was noisy.
Teacher:Why are you shouting?
Student:We found a 10/- rupee note and we decided to give this note to one of us who can tell a big lie.
Teacher:Shut up!When I was of your age I even don't know what is a lie.
Students:Then this note is for teacher.
Joke 14:-
Teacher:Harish,collect 3 words for next class.Harish noticed two lovers in a park saying "Lets go side and talk".
Harish went home and found his sister watching cricket and said"sixer".
Harish father told his mother to taste mangoes and express their taste.
His mother says"Sweet,sweet and sour,sour".
At the school.....
Teacher:What have you written Harish?
Harish:Lets go side and talk.
Teacher:If I give you one shot.
Harish:Sixer.
Teacher:How is your body?
Harish:Sweet,sweet and sour,sour.
Joke 15:-
Teacher:Gowtham,why does moon shine?
Gowtham:Because it is bald.
Joke 16:-
Teacher:There is nothing like impossible in this World.
Avinash:But teacher I think that there is one thing,nobody can do it.
Teacher:What is that?
Avinash:Tooth paste came out of tube can't be sent back into it.
Joke 17:-
Principal:Your son is making much noise in the school.
Father:As he is doing much noise at home I joined him your school.
Joke 18:-
Teacher said"Bhanu,if you stand towards east and strecth your hands what will be there on 2 sides."
Bhanu said"My hands and fingers Ma'am."
Joke 19:-
Teacher:Is moon farther or America?
Chintu:America.
Teacher:How can you say that?
Chintu:Because we can see moon everyday but we can't see America.
Joke 20:-
Sir:Ravi you are not even brushing your teeth properly.
Ravi:No sir,I have brushed.
Sir:You are lieing to me.On seeing your teeth I can say what you have eaten in this morning.
Ravi:Then tell me sir.
Sir:Egg.
Ravi:No sir,it is of 2 days back.
Joke 21:-
Teacher:Varma do you know why doctors wear masks to their faces?
Varma:If operation fails the patient should not identify them.
Joke 22:-
Teacher:Sharma,do you know what is the difference between household bulb lightening and the lightening from skies?
Sharma:If we lighten house bulb current bill generates and there is no such problem with lightening due to thunder.
Joke 23:-
Teacher:Suneel tell me what is grown much in West Indies?
Suneeth:I don't know teacher.
Teacher:You don't know even that too! Ok then I will give you a clue.Tell me where we get sugar from? The answer is in this question itself.
Suneeth:I don't know from where you all get from,but we get it from our neighbours.
Joke 24:-
Teacher:Which four words do school pupil use most?
Student:Sir,I don't know.
Teacher:Correct,sit down.
Joke 25:-
Teacher:We must do tommorows work as of today's and Today's work for now itself.
Student:I must go home now immediately.
Teacher:Why? What is your hurry?
Student:I have left 2 bananas at my home for this evening.I must complete them soon.
Joke 26:-
Teacher:Satish,do you know wehere is God?
Satish:Yes teacher,he is in the bathroom.
Teacher:How could you say that?
Satish:In the morning my father knocked the door of the bathroom and said"Oh my God! you are still in the bathroom."
Joke 27:-
In a philosophy class a discussion was going on the issue-God's existence.
Professor:Have you ever seen God?
Students:No,sir.
Professor:Have you ever touched him?
Students:No,sir.
Professor:So,from this we can make out that there is no such thing like God.
Students:Sir,we have never seen your brain and never touched it.So,what! You don't have brain?
Joke 28:-
Teacher:Karthik,what do you do if a 10/- rupee note falls down from your father's pocket?
Karthik:What can I do with those 10/- rupees? I will search for some more money that my mother might have preserved.
Joke 29:-
Teacher:Student have you done your homework?
Boy:Chaila chaila chaila chaila....endira ee teacher gola.
Teacher:Pattu pattu cheyye pattu,debbalesta tagiletattu....
(Just then a new girl entered the class room.)
Teacher:What's your name?
Girl:Naa pere Kanchanamala....
Boy:Ye zilla ye zilla O pilla needi ye zilla?
Girl:Yenna peru?
Boy:Da....da....da....da....Shankar dada MBBS.
Joke 30:-
English class was going on....
Teacher:Correct this sentence"Ox and cow are eating grass."
Student:I can.
Teacher:Ok.What is the correct sentence?
Student:Cow and ox are eating grass.
Teacher:How is that?Student:Because"Ladies first"
Joke 31:-
Teacher:Why do cows graze grass?
Student:Because they can't cook food.
Teacher:Karan, explain me how do chicks come out from eggs?
Karan:It is very surprising for me how did they enter into it first?
Joke 2:-
Teacher:where do we get drinking water from?
Student:From water bottle teacher.
Joke 3:-
Teacher:Ramu combine both these sentences into a single sentence; “I am
coming to school on a bicycle, I saw a dead body”.
Ramu:I saw a dead body coming to school on a bicycle.
Joke 4:-
Teacher:Krishna can a kangaroo jumps higher than WTC towers?
Krishna:Yes, teacher.
Teacher:How?
Krishna:Because towers can’t jump.
Joke 5:-
Teacher:Ravi why did you come late?
Ravi:When I was on the way a man was searching for his hundred rupees note
which fell down.
Teacher:Good, then you helped him.
Ravi:No teacher, I stood on that 100/- rupee note until he went off so I was
late.
Joke 6:-
Teacher:Bunny what is the plural of the word ‘rat’?
Bunny:Its rats, teacher.
Teacher:Good Bunny. You are very clever. Now tell me what is the plural of
the word ‘girl’?
Bunny:Twin girls, teacher.
Teacher:Oh! No!
Joke 7:-
Principal:John teja why so many complaints on you? What do you do in the
class room?
John teja: Nothing, sir.
Principal:that’s why I am asking you, you fool.
Joke 8:-
Teacher:Ram, let that be I have given you 2 rabbits and other 2 after
sometime and another 2. Now what is the no. of rabbits?
Ram:7, teacher.
Teacher:Are you sure?
Ram:Yes, teacher.
(Teacher replaced rabbits with apples and asked him the same question)
Teacher:Now tell me how many no. of apples are there?
Ram:6, teacher.
Teacher:Then why did you say 7 rabbits at first?
Ram:Because I already have one at my home.
Joke 9:-
Teacher:When did Akbar born?
Chanti:I don’t know teacher.
Teacher:It was written 1542-1605. Can’t you look and tell?
Chanti:Oh! I thought it was his phone number.
Joke 10:-
Teacher:Do you know why the population growth is very high in our country.
It is because of the fact that for every second on woman gives birth to a new
kid.
Teacher:Venkat! What are you thinking about without listening to the class
going on?
Venkat:I was thinking of how to stop population growth.
Teacher:Can you tell me how can we stop?
Venkat:you told that for every second a woman gives birth then if we find
that woman and stop her from doing so, we can easily stop population
growth.
Joke 11:-
Teacher:How much is 5+7?
Kiran:12,teacher.
Teacher:Good,then how much is 7+5?
Kiran:21,teacher.Don't think that I don't know that you have asked in the
reverse order.
Joke 12:-
Social teacher:Where is Pakistan located in the map?
Venkat swamy:I don't know teacher.
Social teacher:You don't know where it is? Stand up on the bench.
Venkat swamy:Can it be visible from the bench,teacher?
Joke 13:-
When teacher entered into a classroom,the whole class was noisy.
Teacher:Why are you shouting?
Student:We found a 10/- rupee note and we decided to give this note to one of us who can tell a big lie.
Teacher:Shut up!When I was of your age I even don't know what is a lie.
Students:Then this note is for teacher.
Joke 14:-
Teacher:Harish,collect 3 words for next class.Harish noticed two lovers in a park saying "Lets go side and talk".
Harish went home and found his sister watching cricket and said"sixer".
Harish father told his mother to taste mangoes and express their taste.
His mother says"Sweet,sweet and sour,sour".
At the school.....
Teacher:What have you written Harish?
Harish:Lets go side and talk.
Teacher:If I give you one shot.
Harish:Sixer.
Teacher:How is your body?
Harish:Sweet,sweet and sour,sour.
Joke 15:-
Teacher:Gowtham,why does moon shine?
Gowtham:Because it is bald.
Joke 16:-
Teacher:There is nothing like impossible in this World.
Avinash:But teacher I think that there is one thing,nobody can do it.
Teacher:What is that?
Avinash:Tooth paste came out of tube can't be sent back into it.
Joke 17:-
Principal:Your son is making much noise in the school.
Father:As he is doing much noise at home I joined him your school.
Joke 18:-
Teacher said"Bhanu,if you stand towards east and strecth your hands what will be there on 2 sides."
Bhanu said"My hands and fingers Ma'am."
Joke 19:-
Teacher:Is moon farther or America?
Chintu:America.
Teacher:How can you say that?
Chintu:Because we can see moon everyday but we can't see America.
Joke 20:-
Sir:Ravi you are not even brushing your teeth properly.
Ravi:No sir,I have brushed.
Sir:You are lieing to me.On seeing your teeth I can say what you have eaten in this morning.
Ravi:Then tell me sir.
Sir:Egg.
Ravi:No sir,it is of 2 days back.
Joke 21:-
Teacher:Varma do you know why doctors wear masks to their faces?
Varma:If operation fails the patient should not identify them.
Joke 22:-
Teacher:Sharma,do you know what is the difference between household bulb lightening and the lightening from skies?
Sharma:If we lighten house bulb current bill generates and there is no such problem with lightening due to thunder.
Joke 23:-
Teacher:Suneel tell me what is grown much in West Indies?
Suneeth:I don't know teacher.
Teacher:You don't know even that too! Ok then I will give you a clue.Tell me where we get sugar from? The answer is in this question itself.
Suneeth:I don't know from where you all get from,but we get it from our neighbours.
Joke 24:-
Teacher:Which four words do school pupil use most?
Student:Sir,I don't know.
Teacher:Correct,sit down.
Joke 25:-
Teacher:We must do tommorows work as of today's and Today's work for now itself.
Student:I must go home now immediately.
Teacher:Why? What is your hurry?
Student:I have left 2 bananas at my home for this evening.I must complete them soon.
Joke 26:-
Teacher:Satish,do you know wehere is God?
Satish:Yes teacher,he is in the bathroom.
Teacher:How could you say that?
Satish:In the morning my father knocked the door of the bathroom and said"Oh my God! you are still in the bathroom."
Joke 27:-
In a philosophy class a discussion was going on the issue-God's existence.
Professor:Have you ever seen God?
Students:No,sir.
Professor:Have you ever touched him?
Students:No,sir.
Professor:So,from this we can make out that there is no such thing like God.
Students:Sir,we have never seen your brain and never touched it.So,what! You don't have brain?
Joke 28:-
Teacher:Karthik,what do you do if a 10/- rupee note falls down from your father's pocket?
Karthik:What can I do with those 10/- rupees? I will search for some more money that my mother might have preserved.
Joke 29:-
Teacher:Student have you done your homework?
Boy:Chaila chaila chaila chaila....endira ee teacher gola.
Teacher:Pattu pattu cheyye pattu,debbalesta tagiletattu....
(Just then a new girl entered the class room.)
Teacher:What's your name?
Girl:Naa pere Kanchanamala....
Boy:Ye zilla ye zilla O pilla needi ye zilla?
Girl:Yenna peru?
Boy:Da....da....da....da....Shankar dada MBBS.
Joke 30:-
English class was going on....
Teacher:Correct this sentence"Ox and cow are eating grass."
Student:I can.
Teacher:Ok.What is the correct sentence?
Student:Cow and ox are eating grass.
Teacher:How is that?Student:Because"Ladies first"
Joke 31:-
Teacher:Why do cows graze grass?
Student:Because they can't cook food.
COURT OF LAW
JOKE 1:-
A case has filed against Sardar in money affair.Sardar meets his lawyer.
SARDAR'S LAWYER:I have an idea for all questions say baaaa.....!!!!!!!
SARDAR:U mean like a deaf and dumb guy.
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Yes exactly.
Court starts!!!!!!!!!
JUDGE:Sardar have you taken money from the people?
SARDAR:ba..babaaaaaaaaaa......!!!!!!!!
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Sorry my lord he cant speak!!he is deaf and dumb guy. JUDGE:The case is closed because of Sardar's deaf and dumb nature..............
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Thats right,we won it.Then my fees?
SARDAR:baaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SARDAR'S LAWYER:my fees man?
SARDAR:ba..ba..ba..baaaaaaaaaaaa.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOKE 2:-
Two lawyers get into quarrel before judge.............
lawyer 1: you are stupid.
lawyer 2: you are criminal.
lawyer 1: you are monkey.
lawyer 2: you are donkey.
judge:order .... order ... cont forget that I am here.
Joke 4:-
Somanath was accused of murder.Six vitnesses are against him.But Somanath still protests against them.
Judge:Six vitnesses are present still you are disagreeing.
Somanath:My Lord! I can show you more than 100 people who didn't see me as a killer.Do you need them all.
Joke 5:-
After coming out of court.
Lawyer:What happened to you? You told right answer for 1st questioned.But all other answers are not true.Why did you do so?
Witness:I made a promise by taking Bible in to my hands for first question only but not for all questions.
Joke 6:-
A couple filed a case for divorce.Judge was interrogating their daughter Shanti.
Judge:Do you want to be with your mother?
Shanti:No,she hits me in anger.
Judge:Then you want to be with your father?
Shanti:No,he too does the same.
Judge:Then where do you want to be.
Shanti:I will be with our cricket team.My father often says even after taking money also they wont hit.
Joke 7:-
Culprit:Sir today my lawyer is ill.Can you call me on some other day?
Judge:But you were found red-handed driving car by taking alcohol.
Culprit:That's why I want to see how my lawyer is going to handle this case.
A case has filed against Sardar in money affair.Sardar meets his lawyer.
SARDAR'S LAWYER:I have an idea for all questions say baaaa.....!!!!!!!
SARDAR:U mean like a deaf and dumb guy.
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Yes exactly.
Court starts!!!!!!!!!
JUDGE:Sardar have you taken money from the people?
SARDAR:ba..babaaaaaaaaaa......!!!!!!!!
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Sorry my lord he cant speak!!he is deaf and dumb guy. JUDGE:The case is closed because of Sardar's deaf and dumb nature..............
SARDAR'S LAWYER:Thats right,we won it.Then my fees?
SARDAR:baaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SARDAR'S LAWYER:my fees man?
SARDAR:ba..ba..ba..baaaaaaaaaaaa.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOKE 2:-
Two lawyers get into quarrel before judge.............
lawyer 1: you are stupid.
lawyer 2: you are criminal.
lawyer 1: you are monkey.
lawyer 2: you are donkey.
judge:order .... order ... cont forget that I am here.
Joke 4:-
Somanath was accused of murder.Six vitnesses are against him.But Somanath still protests against them.
Judge:Six vitnesses are present still you are disagreeing.
Somanath:My Lord! I can show you more than 100 people who didn't see me as a killer.Do you need them all.
Joke 5:-
After coming out of court.
Lawyer:What happened to you? You told right answer for 1st questioned.But all other answers are not true.Why did you do so?
Witness:I made a promise by taking Bible in to my hands for first question only but not for all questions.
Joke 6:-
A couple filed a case for divorce.Judge was interrogating their daughter Shanti.
Judge:Do you want to be with your mother?
Shanti:No,she hits me in anger.
Judge:Then you want to be with your father?
Shanti:No,he too does the same.
Judge:Then where do you want to be.
Shanti:I will be with our cricket team.My father often says even after taking money also they wont hit.
Joke 7:-
Culprit:Sir today my lawyer is ill.Can you call me on some other day?
Judge:But you were found red-handed driving car by taking alcohol.
Culprit:That's why I want to see how my lawyer is going to handle this case.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
FAMILY
Joke 1:-
Rani was attending a phone call for half an hour.After she finished her phone
talk…..
Father:surprise! Today you kept phone soon.Usually you talk for nearly an
hour or two. What was the matter?
Rani:It was a wrong call dad.
Joke 2:-
Ramesh:Mom,my wife is not considering me in to her count.
Mom:-She might be poor in mathematics.
Rani was attending a phone call for half an hour.After she finished her phone
talk…..
Father:surprise! Today you kept phone soon.Usually you talk for nearly an
hour or two. What was the matter?
Rani:It was a wrong call dad.
Joke 2:-
Ramesh:Mom,my wife is not considering me in to her count.
Mom:-She might be poor in mathematics.
Joke 3:-Preethi:Mother,You are having some white hair in your head.Mother:Preethi,whenever you commit a single mistake one of hair follicals start whitening.Preethi:Oh!Then this is the matter.Why grandma is having full white hair I understood now.
Joke 4:-Vijay:Doctor,I have not bathed from a month but my body is not giving any bad smell.Doctor:It is amazing to hear.You use these pills for 2 days.Vijay:I don't know what have you given from the day onwards my body began to smell very badly.Doctor:Thanks God! Your nose is alright know.
Joke 5:-Father:Your generation has no shy and manners.In our days ladies used to bend their heads with shy when we pass infront of them.Son:Dad,what have you done so worst that they bent their heads with shy.
Joke 6:-Raghav:Mother,I have reached Hyderabad after 2 days I have started.Now I am returning back to home.Mother:Why did it took 4 days to return.Raghav:This car is having 4 gears to move front.But there is no gear to move back.
Joke 7:-Daddy:Son,why did you get only 10 marks?Son:When I got 25 marks for the last time you only told that if I get 10 more marks I would have passed.
Joke 8:-Ramya:Roja,why are you in a distress condition?Roja:My son swallowed a 1/- rupee coin.Ramya:Don't worry nothing will happen.My husband swallowed lakhs of money from government what happened to him? Nothing.
Joke 9:-Mother:Kuber why have you hitten brother?Kuber:To how much extent I am asking he is not replying.Mother:His is very small that he can't talk.Kuber:But he can tell me know,that he can't talk.
Joke 10:-Sarala:Mother,when I told you don't get me married with a teacher,none of you listened to me,now see....Mother:What happened now? Is your husband is angry with you? Manasa:In the morning I poured some salt less in the curry,he asked me to cook it for 10 times.
Joke 11:-Radha was going home after taking medicines from a hospital.When she startedher vehicle and was ready to go....Nurse:Madam,doctor has mistakenly given you another medicine inspite of actual one.If you take that you it may cause death.Radha:Don't worry,these medicines are not for me.They are for my mother-in-law.
Joke 12:-As soon as Ramya returned home in the evening her 5 year old daughter,Kavya hugged her and started crying.Ramya:Why are you crying my tiny?Kavya:Brother pushed me on the floor and I got hurt.Ramya:Where is that idiot?Kavya:He is not in home.Ramya:When did this happen?Kavya:In the noon.Ramya:Then why are you crying now?Kavya:You came now only.Thats why....
Joke 13:-Chintu:Daddy,I have to go to centre and buy a pencil,give me money.Daddy:It is almost dark out side,you can buy it tomorrow.Chintu:No fear Daddy,our neighbours,Gopal,Sam,Ramesh all these guys will come by myback.Daddy:Why they all come on your back?Chintu:Because I am going along with sister.
Joke 14:-A servant was fired out from his work by her owner Lakshmi saying that she isnot good at work.Lakshmi:If you can tell me that you can do a single work better than me I can appoint you back in my house.Servant:I cook better than you.Lakshmi:Who told you? Is that my husband only?Servant:No,our colony's beggar.
Joke 15:-Mother:Bunty why is sunny crying? If he asks anything I told you to give him, isn't it?Bunty:I have given him that he has asked me.Thats why he is crying.Mother:What have you given him?Bunty:Red chilly.Mother:What! Red chilly!
Joke 16:-Govindu went to a photo studio with her six year old daughter and whenphotographer asked him"how many copies you require?"Govindu replied"I prefer only tea not coffee and milk for my small one."
FRIENDS
Joke 1:-
Renuka:Raghu and Hari are willing to marry me.Tell me who is the lucky guy?
Swathi:It is very simple.Raghu will marry you.Hari will be the luckiest.
Joke 2:-
Two friends are talking to each other.
vani:My father told me that he will arrange my marriage if I get failed in
this exams.
Laly:Don't worry about it.But you have written exams very well,then where is
the need to fear?
Vani:Thats why I fear.
Laly:What!
Joke 3:-
Sravan:Bharath,why did you speak louder always?
Bharath:Because it from my family.My grandpa used to sell clothes by shouting in the streets.My father is a teacher.My mother is a woman,so no need to mention about her.
Joke 4:-
Madhu:Look Sunitha,I think that you are afraid of your father very much.
Sunitha:You don't know about my father.He can stop any vehicle with a single hand.
Madhu:Is he very strong?
Sunitha:No.
Madhu:Then how can he do so?
Sunita:Because he is a traffic police.
Joke 5:-
Sohal:Danish do you know ISRO(Indian Space Research Organisation) releases 16 rockets into space every month.
Danish:What is great in it? I am throwing morethan 61 rockets in a day in my class room.
Joke 6:-
A woman hopes that his boy friend would change his attitude even after marriage and gets ready to marry him.
A man hopes that his girl friend never changes forever and marries her.But she changes her attitude.
Joke 7:-
Jaya and Mukesh were 2 friends once went to a railway station.
Jaya was new to railway station.
Jaya heard an announcement(Gopal express is arriving soon on plat form no.2) and started running.
Mukesh:Jaya why are you running?
Jaya:You fool! Are you crazy! Haven't you heard that the train is coming on plat form.Run for your life.
And again started running.
Joke 8:-
Sunny,Bunny went to a museum.They stopped at the skeleton of dinosarous and started examining it.
Sunny:This dinosarous is of two billion years and 10 months old.
Bunny:How can you say exactly mentioning months too?
Sunny:When I came last time a 10 months before a guide told me that it is of two billion years old.
Joke 9:-
Sujatha:Radhika,my son has become a cigar inhaler.Do you have any son?Radhika:Yes I have a son.
Sujatha:Is he an addict of inhaling cigar?
Radhika:No,of course not.
Sujatha:You are so lucky to have such a son.By the way how many years old is he?Radhika:Not years.He is 3 months old.
Joke 10:-
Karna:Ashok,do you inhale cigsr?
Ashok:No!
Karna:Do you drink liquor?
Ashok:NO!
Karna:Do you play cards?
Ashok:No!
Karna:Then you don't have any bad habits.
Ashok:Don't determine like that.I have one bad habit.
Karna:-What is it?
Ashok:-Some times I lie.
Karna:-What!
Joke 11:-
Two friends met after they got settled in their jobs.
One was a navy officer,another was an army officer.
Army officer:Our soldiers are very courageous.
Navy officer:No,our soldiers are very courageous.
Army officer:Can you prove it?
Navy officer:Soldier jump into the sea.
(Soldier jumped down into the sea without thinking of anything else)
Army officer:Soldier stop that military tanker with one hand.
Navy officer:But it is dangerous.
Army Soldier:Have you gone mad? I am sure to die if I do so.
Army officer:Actually for talking in such a way with their senior officer must have much dare than jumping into the sea.
Renuka:Raghu and Hari are willing to marry me.Tell me who is the lucky guy?
Swathi:It is very simple.Raghu will marry you.Hari will be the luckiest.
Joke 2:-
Two friends are talking to each other.
vani:My father told me that he will arrange my marriage if I get failed in
this exams.
Laly:Don't worry about it.But you have written exams very well,then where is
the need to fear?
Vani:Thats why I fear.
Laly:What!
Joke 3:-
Sravan:Bharath,why did you speak louder always?
Bharath:Because it from my family.My grandpa used to sell clothes by shouting in the streets.My father is a teacher.My mother is a woman,so no need to mention about her.
Joke 4:-
Madhu:Look Sunitha,I think that you are afraid of your father very much.
Sunitha:You don't know about my father.He can stop any vehicle with a single hand.
Madhu:Is he very strong?
Sunitha:No.
Madhu:Then how can he do so?
Sunita:Because he is a traffic police.
Joke 5:-
Sohal:Danish do you know ISRO(Indian Space Research Organisation) releases 16 rockets into space every month.
Danish:What is great in it? I am throwing morethan 61 rockets in a day in my class room.
Joke 6:-
A woman hopes that his boy friend would change his attitude even after marriage and gets ready to marry him.
A man hopes that his girl friend never changes forever and marries her.But she changes her attitude.
Joke 7:-
Jaya and Mukesh were 2 friends once went to a railway station.
Jaya was new to railway station.
Jaya heard an announcement(Gopal express is arriving soon on plat form no.2) and started running.
Mukesh:Jaya why are you running?
Jaya:You fool! Are you crazy! Haven't you heard that the train is coming on plat form.Run for your life.
And again started running.
Joke 8:-
Sunny,Bunny went to a museum.They stopped at the skeleton of dinosarous and started examining it.
Sunny:This dinosarous is of two billion years and 10 months old.
Bunny:How can you say exactly mentioning months too?
Sunny:When I came last time a 10 months before a guide told me that it is of two billion years old.
Joke 9:-
Sujatha:Radhika,my son has become a cigar inhaler.Do you have any son?Radhika:Yes I have a son.
Sujatha:Is he an addict of inhaling cigar?
Radhika:No,of course not.
Sujatha:You are so lucky to have such a son.By the way how many years old is he?Radhika:Not years.He is 3 months old.
Joke 10:-
Karna:Ashok,do you inhale cigsr?
Ashok:No!
Karna:Do you drink liquor?
Ashok:NO!
Karna:Do you play cards?
Ashok:No!
Karna:Then you don't have any bad habits.
Ashok:Don't determine like that.I have one bad habit.
Karna:-What is it?
Ashok:-Some times I lie.
Karna:-What!
Joke 11:-
Two friends met after they got settled in their jobs.
One was a navy officer,another was an army officer.
Army officer:Our soldiers are very courageous.
Navy officer:No,our soldiers are very courageous.
Army officer:Can you prove it?
Navy officer:Soldier jump into the sea.
(Soldier jumped down into the sea without thinking of anything else)
Army officer:Soldier stop that military tanker with one hand.
Navy officer:But it is dangerous.
Army Soldier:Have you gone mad? I am sure to die if I do so.
Army officer:Actually for talking in such a way with their senior officer must have much dare than jumping into the sea.
GOD
JOKE 1:-
A Muslim,a Hindu and a Christian are in a boat in middle of the sea.Suddenly boat began to sink!!!!!!!!!!! All prayed to their respective gods.When Muslim said Allah! Malik! boat got up to some extent and same with the Christian's.But when Hindu said Govinda..Gooovinda!!!!!!Boat completely sunk in to the sea.
JOKE 2:-
A Muslim,a Hindu and a Christian are in a boot in middle of the sea.Suddenly boat began to sink!!!!!!!!!!! All prayed to their respective Gods.Allah came and taken Muslim.Jesus came and saved Christian.But when Hindu first called Ganesha,Ganesh came and started dancing.Hindu amazed and got angry and asked why are you dancing Ganesha instead of helping me? Ganesha said I come to Earth once in a year but you people throw me in river and dance at me!!!!!!!!!! Now its my time.Happy journey.
JOKE 3:-
A muslim,a hindu and a christian are in a boot in middle of the sea.Suddenly boat began to sink!!!!!!!!!!! All prayed to their respective Gods.Allah came and taken muslim.Jesus came and saved christian.But Hindu first called Hanuman later called Vishnu and later Ganesha later Rama and finally Sita and gave up his soul.In heaven he asked Hanuman why he has not helped him.Hanuman said I was on the way but you called Vishnu.He asked Vishnu why didn't you come to help,he said I was on the way you called Rama,hindu asked Rama why didn't you come for help? Rama said I am on the way but you called Sita,so I left. Lastly he asked sita why didn't you come for help? Sita says "I am a girl and that to a virgin how can I touch your body!!
INTERVIEW
Joke 1:-
Seshu attended an interview for finding job. The officer has given job to
some other person by taking bribe. So the officer planed to fail Seshu
anyhow.
Officer:I will ask you only one simple question but you must answer in a
single word.
Officer:Do you know who our chief minister is?
Seshu:Yes, sir.
Officer:Wrong answer, our CM’s name is Giriraj pillai.
Joke 2:-
Gopi and Krishna attended an interview.A test was held in order to choose one
of them.Both got 9 marks out of 10.But only Gopi was selected.
Krishna:We got same marks then,why didn't you select me?
Interviewer:For 9th question Gopi wrote "I don't know".But you wrote "I too
don't know"
Joke 3:-
Ram and Raj attended an interview and Raj got selected and Ram didn’t get the
job.
Ram:I wane say something....
Raj:I know, I know what you got to say
Raj:You have to say me “don’t worry better luck next time, sometimes it
happens so”
Ram:No! No! I just…..
Raj:Now what you need to say that you are very intelligent and I have to
follow you so that I can get a job.
Raj:Is this you have to....
Ram:No....
Raj:Then what!
Ram:Your zip is open.
Joke 4:-
A man attended an interview with her wife.
Interviewer:Why did you bring your wife?
Man:I have heard that behind every successful man there is a successful woman.
Seshu attended an interview for finding job. The officer has given job to
some other person by taking bribe. So the officer planed to fail Seshu
anyhow.
Officer:I will ask you only one simple question but you must answer in a
single word.
Officer:Do you know who our chief minister is?
Seshu:Yes, sir.
Officer:Wrong answer, our CM’s name is Giriraj pillai.
Joke 2:-
Gopi and Krishna attended an interview.A test was held in order to choose one
of them.Both got 9 marks out of 10.But only Gopi was selected.
Krishna:We got same marks then,why didn't you select me?
Interviewer:For 9th question Gopi wrote "I don't know".But you wrote "I too
don't know"
Joke 3:-
Ram and Raj attended an interview and Raj got selected and Ram didn’t get the
job.
Ram:I wane say something....
Raj:I know, I know what you got to say
Raj:You have to say me “don’t worry better luck next time, sometimes it
happens so”
Ram:No! No! I just…..
Raj:Now what you need to say that you are very intelligent and I have to
follow you so that I can get a job.
Raj:Is this you have to....
Ram:No....
Raj:Then what!
Ram:Your zip is open.
Joke 4:-
A man attended an interview with her wife.
Interviewer:Why did you bring your wife?
Man:I have heard that behind every successful man there is a successful woman.
KNOW-NEW
Joke 1:-
Chandu:Vicky! Do you know why Manmohan Singh goes to walk only in the
evenings only?
Vicky:Um.... I don’t know.
Chandu:you stupid you don’t know even that too. It is because he is our P.M.
but not A.M.
Joke 2:-
Mother:Mohan what are you writing?
Mohan:I am writing a letter for Sam.
Mother:But you don’t know writing na!
Mohan:Don’t worry,he doesn’t know reading. That why....
Joke 3:-
A hunter was on his way to hunt an elephant; elephant ran for its life into
the jungle where she met her friend ant.
Ant: what happened? Why are you so upset?
Elephant:A hunter is at my back.
Ant:Hide behind me. Be soon.
Joke 4:-
After reading all jokes written by Radha on her mother-in-law,Sarada asked Radha"Don't your mother-in-law be angry looking at these words?"
Radha:She doesn't know reading.
Joke 5:-
Sharath:There is no word like 'impossible' in my dictionary.
Revanth:Thats why I always recommend you to look clearly that all words are present in it and then buy it.
Joke 6:-Kishan:Varma,I have an excellent story written by me.On reading it our hair will stand to 90 degrees.Take me immediately to your director.Varma:Sorry our director has bald head.
Joke 7:-Son:Oh my God! I am glad that I was not born in France.How much I might have to struggle if I were born in France.Dad:What is that struggle!Son:For this time you can't imagine how hard I am struggling to learn English.Imagine how much I have to struggle to learn French.
Joke 8:-2 persons were watching boxing.Person 1:Come on hit!All his tooth must break down for a single shot.Come on!Person 2:Are you interested in boxing?Person 1:No,I am practising as a dentist in the next street.
Chandu:Vicky! Do you know why Manmohan Singh goes to walk only in the
evenings only?
Vicky:Um.... I don’t know.
Chandu:you stupid you don’t know even that too. It is because he is our P.M.
but not A.M.
Joke 2:-
Mother:Mohan what are you writing?
Mohan:I am writing a letter for Sam.
Mother:But you don’t know writing na!
Mohan:Don’t worry,he doesn’t know reading. That why....
Joke 3:-
A hunter was on his way to hunt an elephant; elephant ran for its life into
the jungle where she met her friend ant.
Ant: what happened? Why are you so upset?
Elephant:A hunter is at my back.
Ant:Hide behind me. Be soon.
Joke 4:-
After reading all jokes written by Radha on her mother-in-law,Sarada asked Radha"Don't your mother-in-law be angry looking at these words?"
Radha:She doesn't know reading.
Joke 5:-
Sharath:There is no word like 'impossible' in my dictionary.
Revanth:Thats why I always recommend you to look clearly that all words are present in it and then buy it.
Joke 6:-Kishan:Varma,I have an excellent story written by me.On reading it our hair will stand to 90 degrees.Take me immediately to your director.Varma:Sorry our director has bald head.
Joke 7:-Son:Oh my God! I am glad that I was not born in France.How much I might have to struggle if I were born in France.Dad:What is that struggle!Son:For this time you can't imagine how hard I am struggling to learn English.Imagine how much I have to struggle to learn French.
Joke 8:-2 persons were watching boxing.Person 1:Come on hit!All his tooth must break down for a single shot.Come on!Person 2:Are you interested in boxing?Person 1:No,I am practising as a dentist in the next street.
LOVE
Joke 1:-
Mahesh went to talk to a girl named Rimmy whom he loved from many years.
Mahesh:Rimmy, I am in love with you since many years if you don’t have any
objection I shall marry you.
Rimmy:I am sorry Mahesh. I am 1 year elder than you.
Mahesh:It’s ok! I shall marry you 1 year later.
Joke 2:-
Ravi was talking to her girl friend,Sita.
Ravi:Sita will you marry me?
Sita:No,but I appreciate your choice.
Mahesh went to talk to a girl named Rimmy whom he loved from many years.
Mahesh:Rimmy, I am in love with you since many years if you don’t have any
objection I shall marry you.
Rimmy:I am sorry Mahesh. I am 1 year elder than you.
Mahesh:It’s ok! I shall marry you 1 year later.
Joke 2:-
Ravi was talking to her girl friend,Sita.
Ravi:Sita will you marry me?
Sita:No,but I appreciate your choice.
Joke 3:-Venu and Seenu saw a girl named Radha.Venu fall in love with her and asked Seenu to write a love letter to Radha on behalf of him.Venu with letter....Venu:Radha I have written a letter to you.Radha:You stupid you gave me a love letter that too written in my husband's writing.
Joke 4:-A boy on kissing the lips of his lover said"Oh! How sweet will be the first kiss of lover."Girl said"Let's not remind of those passed away time."
Joke 5:-Girl friend:Love never has ends,isn't it?Boy friend:Yes,you are right.Girl friend:Can you say why?Boy friend:For us,boys it transfers from one girl to another and for you girls it tranfers from one boy to another.But never stops.
Joke 6:-Two lovers planned to commit suicide.Boy jumps first.Girl closes her eyes and returns saying,"Love is blind".Boy in air opens his parachute saying,"Love never dies".
MEMORY
Joke 1:-
Wife:Why are you punishing him?
Husband:You don’t interfere, this fellow loss his memory completely to the
extent he has forgot his bag in the school.
Wife:Oh my god! He is not our son.
Husband:Is it!
Joke 2:-
A nurse awakens a patient in a deep sleep.
Patient:What happened? Why did you awaken me?
Nurse:I have forgotten to give you a sleeping pill.
Wife:Why are you punishing him?
Husband:You don’t interfere, this fellow loss his memory completely to the
extent he has forgot his bag in the school.
Wife:Oh my god! He is not our son.
Husband:Is it!
Joke 2:-
A nurse awakens a patient in a deep sleep.
Patient:What happened? Why did you awaken me?
Nurse:I have forgotten to give you a sleeping pill.
NATIONS
JOKE 1:-
One day Bush visited INDIA.Manmohan Singh and Bush went to walk.Bush saw dirty roads and ugly toilets and he blamed Singh and went off.After some days Singh went to U.S.A and there both of them went for a walk and saw a man on the 10th floor pouring toilet from there and he looked at Bush and laughed at him.Bush got angry and he called him down.When Bush asked his name,he said Sardar Singh from INDIA
One day Bush visited INDIA.Manmohan Singh and Bush went to walk.Bush saw dirty roads and ugly toilets and he blamed Singh and went off.After some days Singh went to U.S.A and there both of them went for a walk and saw a man on the 10th floor pouring toilet from there and he looked at Bush and laughed at him.Bush got angry and he called him down.When Bush asked his name,he said Sardar Singh from INDIA
OFFICE
Joke 1:-
Unemployed:Sir,please give me a job.
Officer:We are having enough staff in our office.There is no work for you in my
office.
Unemployed:Just give me a job,sir.There is no need to give work.
Joke 2:-
Geetha called for her husband's office phone and asked to connect to her husband's.
Attender:Ma'am,your husband's number please.
Geetha:What number! You stupid do you think that I have 10 husbands?
Joke 3:-
Officer:Vijay, Why are you late?
Vijay:Sir,today I have started early and my wife also got ready in 10 minutes to drop me at bus stop on her scooty but I got late due to traffic jam.
Officer:Traffic jam is alright but that your wife got ready within 10 minutes! This is enough for me to confirm that you are lieing.
Joke 4:-
Employee:Sir,have you written a cheque of 1000/- rupees.
Officer:Yes,it is to be gifted on my sister's birthday.
Employee:There is no signature of yours on this cheque.
Officer:To make a surprise I have done so.Don't be hurry and don't leak this surprise.
Joke 5:-
Employee:Sir,my wife's health is not good.I have to take her to the hospital. Can I go home?
Manager:Oh! I forgot to tell you that your wife called on phone and asked me to tell you that she is alright now and no need to take her to the hospital.Ok,now you go and carry on your work.
Employee:Sir,you are lieing very badly.I even didnot get married.
Joke 6:-
Boss:Why are so late?
Employee:My wife asked me about her makeup.
Boss:You can reply within a minute and have come soon,still you are late for 3 hours!
Employee:When I started towards office she started her makeup.
Unemployed:Sir,please give me a job.
Officer:We are having enough staff in our office.There is no work for you in my
office.
Unemployed:Just give me a job,sir.There is no need to give work.
Joke 2:-
Geetha called for her husband's office phone and asked to connect to her husband's.
Attender:Ma'am,your husband's number please.
Geetha:What number! You stupid do you think that I have 10 husbands?
Joke 3:-
Officer:Vijay, Why are you late?
Vijay:Sir,today I have started early and my wife also got ready in 10 minutes to drop me at bus stop on her scooty but I got late due to traffic jam.
Officer:Traffic jam is alright but that your wife got ready within 10 minutes! This is enough for me to confirm that you are lieing.
Joke 4:-
Employee:Sir,have you written a cheque of 1000/- rupees.
Officer:Yes,it is to be gifted on my sister's birthday.
Employee:There is no signature of yours on this cheque.
Officer:To make a surprise I have done so.Don't be hurry and don't leak this surprise.
Joke 5:-
Employee:Sir,my wife's health is not good.I have to take her to the hospital. Can I go home?
Manager:Oh! I forgot to tell you that your wife called on phone and asked me to tell you that she is alright now and no need to take her to the hospital.Ok,now you go and carry on your work.
Employee:Sir,you are lieing very badly.I even didnot get married.
Joke 6:-
Boss:Why are so late?
Employee:My wife asked me about her makeup.
Boss:You can reply within a minute and have come soon,still you are late for 3 hours!
Employee:When I started towards office she started her makeup.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
POLITICS
Joke 1:-
Ex-CM and CM are together in a car for a small talk.
Ex-CM:If I give 5 lakhs of money to people,they fall on my feet.
CM:If I give 6 lakhs,then all fall on mine.
Driver:If I put a break both of you will fall on my legs.
Joke 2:-
Political leaders and some common people were travelling together in a boat.
One leader threw his plate with half of food in it and said"In my sector there is no scare of food crops.Every year atleast 3 types were grown"
Another leader on throwing a glass of juice and said"In my sector there are a plenty of fruits grown.I am bored of drinking this fruit juices."
A man tried to throw a leader into the river.
All political leaders got angry upon him and said"Are you mad?"
The man said very innocensely"NO,not like that.In our country where is the scarecity of political leaders? we are having atleast 2 leaders for each street."
Ex-CM and CM are together in a car for a small talk.
Ex-CM:If I give 5 lakhs of money to people,they fall on my feet.
CM:If I give 6 lakhs,then all fall on mine.
Driver:If I put a break both of you will fall on my legs.
Joke 2:-
Political leaders and some common people were travelling together in a boat.
One leader threw his plate with half of food in it and said"In my sector there is no scare of food crops.Every year atleast 3 types were grown"
Another leader on throwing a glass of juice and said"In my sector there are a plenty of fruits grown.I am bored of drinking this fruit juices."
A man tried to throw a leader into the river.
All political leaders got angry upon him and said"Are you mad?"
The man said very innocensely"NO,not like that.In our country where is the scarecity of political leaders? we are having atleast 2 leaders for each street."
ROBBERIES
Joke 1:-
Subbarao:Your wife’s necklace is very, where did you buy it?
Apparao:No I have not bought it, in a running race I won this as a prize.
Subbarao:Oh! You are so great; can I know how many participated in the race?
Apparao:3, me, necklace owner and a cop.
Joke 2:-
Boss:Sam I have heard that a robbery had taken place in your house. Is it!
Sam:Yes, sir.
Boss:Great about attitude towards work, even though you came with smiley face.
Can I know what they robbed?
Sam:(happily says) my wife sir.
Subbarao:Your wife’s necklace is very, where did you buy it?
Apparao:No I have not bought it, in a running race I won this as a prize.
Subbarao:Oh! You are so great; can I know how many participated in the race?
Apparao:3, me, necklace owner and a cop.
Joke 2:-
Boss:Sam I have heard that a robbery had taken place in your house. Is it!
Sam:Yes, sir.
Boss:Great about attitude towards work, even though you came with smiley face.
Can I know what they robbed?
Sam:(happily says) my wife sir.
SERIOUS
Joke 4:-
Shanti:Dady,what is the name of the station at which the train stopped previously.
Dady:Oh shut up! I am reading a news paper can't you see it.Let us see it while we return back.
Shanti:Until then who will look after brother Rahul at that station.
Joke 5:-
Doctor:(seriously)The check which you have given me for you fee has returned back.
Patient:(smilingly)Oh! Its amazing doctor.I too got my disease back.
Joke 6:-
Dhanu was with her wife driving a car.Suddenly he noticed that brakes failed.He increased the speed of the car.
Wife:Why this much of speed?
Dnanu:Before any accident might happen we must reach home.
Joke 7:-
Naresh went for a morning walk saw a man,Suresh with a dog,both were sitting on a bench.
Naresh:Does your dog bite?
Suresh:No.
Naresh sat beside the dog.The dog bitten him.
Naresh:You stupid,you said that your dog won't bite.
Suresh:But this is not my dog.It is at my home.
Joke 8:-
Doctor:Where is the patient on this bed?
Nurse:On seeing me,he told me that he is feeling cold.So I made him sleep beside another patient having 103 degrees of fever.
Joke 9:-
A traffic police stopped a woman driving her car with a great speed.
Police:You have crossed 60,isn't it?
Woman:No,20 only,just my hair turned some what white.
Joke 10:-
Wife:Oh my dear! Look our son swallowed a pen.
Husband:Thats why I told you to buy a spare pen.I just came from outside.I can't go out.You only go out and get another one.
Joke 11:-
Male kangaroo:Where is our young one?
Female kangaroo:I went to a super market.Someone might have robbed my pocket.
Joke 12:-
Patient:You have forgot to take scissor out of my stomach after doing operation.
Doctor:Don't worry,I promise you that whenever you will pay complete fee I will take it out.
Joke 13:-
Insurance agent with a worker at a zoo.
Agent:Do you ever had any accident?
Worker:No.But once a snake bit me very very deadly and once an elephant threw me with its trunk and I just rescued from the mouth of death.
Agent:But those all are accidents,aren't they?
Worker:No,they intentionally wanted to do so.
Joke 14:-
Nanda:Hello,Policestation.Sir,someone has kept a bomb in our garden.
Police:Don't worry,look for three days.Nanda:After that?
Police:If no one comes for it you can grant it for yourself.
Joke 15:-
Two persons took a boy to the doctor.
Doctor:What happened to the boy?
Person 1:He swallowed a 1/- rupee coin.
Doctor:Don't worry,I will take it out.By the way who is the father of this boy in both of you.
Person 2:Myself.Doctor:But why is he so nervous?
Person 1:Because the 1/- rupee coin that boy swallowed is mine.
Joke 16:-
Sobhan went to a dentist.
Dentist:One of your teeth got infected.It must be removed soon.
Sobhan:Might be it is very painful.
Dentist:Don't worry,it takes just 10 minutes.
Sobhan:How much it costs?
Dentist:2000/- rupees.
Sobhan:What! For 10 minutes work it costs 2000/- rupees.
Dentist:If you want I can do it for some more time.
Joke 17:-
One day Ram went to Sam's house to console him whose mother was dead.
Ram:Don't worry my friend,she is my mother too,she gave my what ever she gave to you and shared every thing that she shared with you.
After a few days Ram's wife dead,Sam didn't knew what to speak.
Suddenly he remembered Ram's talk while his mother dead.
Sam:Don't worry my friend,she is my mother too,she gave my what ever she gave to you and shared every thing that she shared with you.
Joke 18:-
Sarath:Ramesh what happened to your head?
Ramesh:Previous night I was killing mosquitoes on the wall by hitting with stones.When my wife asked me to use my brain,I started to use my head instead of using stones.
Shanti:Dady,what is the name of the station at which the train stopped previously.
Dady:Oh shut up! I am reading a news paper can't you see it.Let us see it while we return back.
Shanti:Until then who will look after brother Rahul at that station.
Joke 5:-
Doctor:(seriously)The check which you have given me for you fee has returned back.
Patient:(smilingly)Oh! Its amazing doctor.I too got my disease back.
Joke 6:-
Dhanu was with her wife driving a car.Suddenly he noticed that brakes failed.He increased the speed of the car.
Wife:Why this much of speed?
Dnanu:Before any accident might happen we must reach home.
Joke 7:-
Naresh went for a morning walk saw a man,Suresh with a dog,both were sitting on a bench.
Naresh:Does your dog bite?
Suresh:No.
Naresh sat beside the dog.The dog bitten him.
Naresh:You stupid,you said that your dog won't bite.
Suresh:But this is not my dog.It is at my home.
Joke 8:-
Doctor:Where is the patient on this bed?
Nurse:On seeing me,he told me that he is feeling cold.So I made him sleep beside another patient having 103 degrees of fever.
Joke 9:-
A traffic police stopped a woman driving her car with a great speed.
Police:You have crossed 60,isn't it?
Woman:No,20 only,just my hair turned some what white.
Joke 10:-
Wife:Oh my dear! Look our son swallowed a pen.
Husband:Thats why I told you to buy a spare pen.I just came from outside.I can't go out.You only go out and get another one.
Joke 11:-
Male kangaroo:Where is our young one?
Female kangaroo:I went to a super market.Someone might have robbed my pocket.
Joke 12:-
Patient:You have forgot to take scissor out of my stomach after doing operation.
Doctor:Don't worry,I promise you that whenever you will pay complete fee I will take it out.
Joke 13:-
Insurance agent with a worker at a zoo.
Agent:Do you ever had any accident?
Worker:No.But once a snake bit me very very deadly and once an elephant threw me with its trunk and I just rescued from the mouth of death.
Agent:But those all are accidents,aren't they?
Worker:No,they intentionally wanted to do so.
Joke 14:-
Nanda:Hello,Policestation.Sir,someone has kept a bomb in our garden.
Police:Don't worry,look for three days.Nanda:After that?
Police:If no one comes for it you can grant it for yourself.
Joke 15:-
Two persons took a boy to the doctor.
Doctor:What happened to the boy?
Person 1:He swallowed a 1/- rupee coin.
Doctor:Don't worry,I will take it out.By the way who is the father of this boy in both of you.
Person 2:Myself.Doctor:But why is he so nervous?
Person 1:Because the 1/- rupee coin that boy swallowed is mine.
Joke 16:-
Sobhan went to a dentist.
Dentist:One of your teeth got infected.It must be removed soon.
Sobhan:Might be it is very painful.
Dentist:Don't worry,it takes just 10 minutes.
Sobhan:How much it costs?
Dentist:2000/- rupees.
Sobhan:What! For 10 minutes work it costs 2000/- rupees.
Dentist:If you want I can do it for some more time.
Joke 17:-
One day Ram went to Sam's house to console him whose mother was dead.
Ram:Don't worry my friend,she is my mother too,she gave my what ever she gave to you and shared every thing that she shared with you.
After a few days Ram's wife dead,Sam didn't knew what to speak.
Suddenly he remembered Ram's talk while his mother dead.
Sam:Don't worry my friend,she is my mother too,she gave my what ever she gave to you and shared every thing that she shared with you.
Joke 18:-
Sarath:Ramesh what happened to your head?
Ramesh:Previous night I was killing mosquitoes on the wall by hitting with stones.When my wife asked me to use my brain,I started to use my head instead of using stones.
Friday, August 15, 2008
SHOCKING
Joke 1:-
A crowd of people gathered at a place.
A journalist travelling through the way wanted to know what’s going on and
asked about it.Someone told him that a huge accident took place and a life
was gone. Journalist wanted to go nearer so he told them that he is that dead
man’s son and reached the dead boy. He was shocked to see an ass dead.
Joke 2:-
Two mad fellows,Rajesh and Somesh ran away from mental hospital and were standing before a mountain.
Rajesh:Do you see that ants crawling in a row on that mountain?
Somesh:Have you observed an ant in the same row is having lost a leg.
Joke 3:-
Mad,Somebody,Nobody are the names of 3 persons.
Somebody and Nobody got into a quarrel and Somebody killed Nobody.
Mad:Hello,Police station.
Police:Yes,What is your problem.
Mad:Somebody killed Nobody.
Police:What! Are you a mad?
Mad:How do you know?
Joke 4:-
In a mental hospital a doctor saw a patient writing a letter and asked"To whom you are writing?"
Patient replied"To myself."
"What are you writing?" asked doctor.
Patient angrily replied"How can I know know itself?After recieving letter and reading it then I could know."
Joke 5:-
Ramanath was waiting for a bus and started talking with a stranger.
Ramanath:See a person wearing a blue jeans and T-shirt and mooving towards us. Is that person male or female.
Stranger:She is a lady and that too my daughter.
Ramanath:Oh! I am extremely sorry.Without knowing that you are her father I have spoken rubbishly.
Stranger:I am not his father.I am her mother.
Ramanath struck for a moment without any words.
Joke 6:-
Patient:Doctor,you told me to replace cigar with chewing gum but I am having some trouble with it.
Doctor:What is the problem?Patient:How much I might try it is not catching fire.
A crowd of people gathered at a place.
A journalist travelling through the way wanted to know what’s going on and
asked about it.Someone told him that a huge accident took place and a life
was gone. Journalist wanted to go nearer so he told them that he is that dead
man’s son and reached the dead boy. He was shocked to see an ass dead.
Joke 2:-
Two mad fellows,Rajesh and Somesh ran away from mental hospital and were standing before a mountain.
Rajesh:Do you see that ants crawling in a row on that mountain?
Somesh:Have you observed an ant in the same row is having lost a leg.
Joke 3:-
Mad,Somebody,Nobody are the names of 3 persons.
Somebody and Nobody got into a quarrel and Somebody killed Nobody.
Mad:Hello,Police station.
Police:Yes,What is your problem.
Mad:Somebody killed Nobody.
Police:What! Are you a mad?
Mad:How do you know?
Joke 4:-
In a mental hospital a doctor saw a patient writing a letter and asked"To whom you are writing?"
Patient replied"To myself."
"What are you writing?" asked doctor.
Patient angrily replied"How can I know know itself?After recieving letter and reading it then I could know."
Joke 5:-
Ramanath was waiting for a bus and started talking with a stranger.
Ramanath:See a person wearing a blue jeans and T-shirt and mooving towards us. Is that person male or female.
Stranger:She is a lady and that too my daughter.
Ramanath:Oh! I am extremely sorry.Without knowing that you are her father I have spoken rubbishly.
Stranger:I am not his father.I am her mother.
Ramanath struck for a moment without any words.
Joke 6:-
Patient:Doctor,you told me to replace cigar with chewing gum but I am having some trouble with it.
Doctor:What is the problem?Patient:How much I might try it is not catching fire.
SILLY
Joke 1:-
One day Sonia and her mother were walking on the road and Sonia was eating
ice cream.Suddenly ice cream fall down and mother told not to pick it up it
is useless,you shouldn't pick up the things fell on ground.The very next day
Sonia was walking with her parents and suddenly her father fell down and
her mother was going to pick him up.Sonia says "don't pick him up he is
useless now we will take another father".
Joke 2:-
Two kids are talking about their fathers.
Kid 1:-My father is so scared of thunder.When ever the sky thunders he used to hide under the bed.
Kid 2:-My father is scared of sleeping lonely when my mother is not at home,and goes for neighbour anti to sleep.
Joke 3:-
Four ants are going in a line.
Suddenly a lorry passed over them and 3 ants fall dead and the 1 remaining was taken into someones hands.
Ant:Today I am so lucky because today is my birthday.
The man clapped his hands saying"Happy birthday to you".
Joke 4:-
A junior was passing through the way where a senior cought him and....
Senior:Your eyes are on skies.Where is my Salam?
Junior:Sorry,I don't know you are a muslim.
Joke 5:-
John and Klen were arguing about Klen's grand mother.
Klen:Grandma,do you give birth to babies?
Grandma:(angrily)No.
John:Thats it! Your grand mother is a male.
Joke 6:-
Gopal:Sam,I am having a big problem with my wife.
Sam:What is you problem?
Gopal:My wife worships me and says that I am a God for her.
Sam:Then you must feel happy for it.
Gopal:What happies! She asks me all she needed like sarees,gold ornaments as a worshipper and asks me to fulfill her desires.
Joke 7:-
Three ants are talking to one another about their colour.
White ant asked Red ant"Why are you so red?"
Red ant replied"Because I suck blood from humans and insects.
"White ant again asked Black ant"Why are you so black?"Black ant replied"I work in the sun."Black ant asked white ant"Why are you so white?"White ant replied"Because I use fair&lovely."
Joke 8:-One day Lokesh went to air port,where a large crowd of people accumulated.Lokesh tried to enter the air port anyhow.A security guard stopped him and said"wait,please".Immediately Lokesh replied"68 kgs" and moved forward.
Joke 9:-Dinesh:I heard that your novel entered in to Guniss book.Is your novel such great?Somesh:Yes,It is published with a single page.Thats why my novel got place in world records.
Joke 10:-A beggar was standing before a house and shouting.Beggar:Sir,please give some food to this poor beggar.Venkat:Go away,There is no woman in this house to give you any food.Beggar:I asked food,not your wife.
Joke 11:-Naga was caught by the farmer while stealing mangoes on a tree.Farmer:Naga,come down soon or else I will complain to your father.Naga:I won't come down.If you want to tell my father you can tell.Farmer:You are so darely answering today.What is the matter? Is your father at home?Naga:No,not yet.Farmer:Then where he is!Naga:On the next tree.
Joke 12:-Rambabu:Sambabu,your son is very poor in science.Sambabu:But,how do you know this?Rambabu:My son failed in this subject after copying from your son's answer paper.
Joke 13:-Shastry was travelling bus.Shastry:April fool!Conductor:Why?Shastry:I have bus pass still I bought a ticket.
Joke 14:-Samala called on phone for an electrician to repair her home's calling bell.Electrician:Hello mam I will come in this afternoon.Electrician didnot come.The next day Samala called him again on phone.Samala:Why didn't you come yesterday?Electrician:I arrived sharp on 2 P.M. but you didn't open your door while I rang your bell several times.
Joke 15:-Piano teacher:Why didn't you open the piano?Sony:I can't open it.Piano teacher:Why?Sony:Because the keys are inside it.
One day Sonia and her mother were walking on the road and Sonia was eating
ice cream.Suddenly ice cream fall down and mother told not to pick it up it
is useless,you shouldn't pick up the things fell on ground.The very next day
Sonia was walking with her parents and suddenly her father fell down and
her mother was going to pick him up.Sonia says "don't pick him up he is
useless now we will take another father".
Joke 2:-
Two kids are talking about their fathers.
Kid 1:-My father is so scared of thunder.When ever the sky thunders he used to hide under the bed.
Kid 2:-My father is scared of sleeping lonely when my mother is not at home,and goes for neighbour anti to sleep.
Joke 3:-
Four ants are going in a line.
Suddenly a lorry passed over them and 3 ants fall dead and the 1 remaining was taken into someones hands.
Ant:Today I am so lucky because today is my birthday.
The man clapped his hands saying"Happy birthday to you".
Joke 4:-
A junior was passing through the way where a senior cought him and....
Senior:Your eyes are on skies.Where is my Salam?
Junior:Sorry,I don't know you are a muslim.
Joke 5:-
John and Klen were arguing about Klen's grand mother.
Klen:Grandma,do you give birth to babies?
Grandma:(angrily)No.
John:Thats it! Your grand mother is a male.
Joke 6:-
Gopal:Sam,I am having a big problem with my wife.
Sam:What is you problem?
Gopal:My wife worships me and says that I am a God for her.
Sam:Then you must feel happy for it.
Gopal:What happies! She asks me all she needed like sarees,gold ornaments as a worshipper and asks me to fulfill her desires.
Joke 7:-
Three ants are talking to one another about their colour.
White ant asked Red ant"Why are you so red?"
Red ant replied"Because I suck blood from humans and insects.
"White ant again asked Black ant"Why are you so black?"Black ant replied"I work in the sun."Black ant asked white ant"Why are you so white?"White ant replied"Because I use fair&lovely."
Joke 8:-One day Lokesh went to air port,where a large crowd of people accumulated.Lokesh tried to enter the air port anyhow.A security guard stopped him and said"wait,please".Immediately Lokesh replied"68 kgs" and moved forward.
Joke 9:-Dinesh:I heard that your novel entered in to Guniss book.Is your novel such great?Somesh:Yes,It is published with a single page.Thats why my novel got place in world records.
Joke 10:-A beggar was standing before a house and shouting.Beggar:Sir,please give some food to this poor beggar.Venkat:Go away,There is no woman in this house to give you any food.Beggar:I asked food,not your wife.
Joke 11:-Naga was caught by the farmer while stealing mangoes on a tree.Farmer:Naga,come down soon or else I will complain to your father.Naga:I won't come down.If you want to tell my father you can tell.Farmer:You are so darely answering today.What is the matter? Is your father at home?Naga:No,not yet.Farmer:Then where he is!Naga:On the next tree.
Joke 12:-Rambabu:Sambabu,your son is very poor in science.Sambabu:But,how do you know this?Rambabu:My son failed in this subject after copying from your son's answer paper.
Joke 13:-Shastry was travelling bus.Shastry:April fool!Conductor:Why?Shastry:I have bus pass still I bought a ticket.
Joke 14:-Samala called on phone for an electrician to repair her home's calling bell.Electrician:Hello mam I will come in this afternoon.Electrician didnot come.The next day Samala called him again on phone.Samala:Why didn't you come yesterday?Electrician:I arrived sharp on 2 P.M. but you didn't open your door while I rang your bell several times.
Joke 15:-Piano teacher:Why didn't you open the piano?Sony:I can't open it.Piano teacher:Why?Sony:Because the keys are inside it.
WIFE & HUSBAND
Joke 1:-
Due to power cut wife lightened a candle.
Husband: Put fan soon. I am sweating.
Wife: If I put-on fan candle gets offs.
Joke 2:-
Sneha:Manish you use to call me Rambha,Urvasi.What happened to you know?
Manish:How can I speak lie forever.
Joke 3:-
Husband:Oh my dear,what have you cooked today?
Wife:The same as yesterday's.
Husband:Then what have you cooked yesterday?
Wife:What I have cooked today.
Husband:Um....
Joke 4:-
4 women are talking at the bore well about their husbands'.
Woman 1:My husband's hair is black so I prefer black saree much.
Woman 2:My husband's hair is red so I prefer red saree much.
Woman 3:My husband's hair is white so I prefer white saree much.
Woman 4:My husband is having bald head so what! I can't wear any?
Joke 5:-
Husband:What ever you wear that will be beautiful.
Wife:Thats why,I married a person like you.
Joke 6:-
Husband:I have read in the news paper that if men talk 100 times,women talk for 200 times a day.
Wife:Yes,this is all because you men don't understand if we say anything once.
Joke 7:-
Husband:Today is our first night.Ask what you want.I will fulfill your desire.
Wife:You must be always like Rama who loved his only wife Radha.
Husband:I will be like his father(having 2 wives) who is much greater than Rama.
Wife:Then I will be like Draupadhi(wife of 5 pandavas).
Joke 8:-
Wife:Why did you all men where clothes?
Husband:Because of you all women.
Wife:If we are not in this world then what you will wear?
Husband:Then where is the need for us to wear clothes?
Joke 9:-
Wife:Look at him,he takes his wife every evening for a ride.You are also there but of no use.
Husband:What is great about that? I can also take her out if she agrees.
Joke 10:-Sarada:My husband never repeats a mistake he has done once.Sheela:Then he commits a new mistake every time.
Joke 11:-Husband:I am errased of this marriages.From now onwards we should be seperated. I will be at one side and you reside at the other side.Wife:Then I will be inside the house and you reside out side the house.
Joke 12:-Astrologer:Your husband is going to die in this year.Wife:Will I be caught to the police.
Joke 13:-Charan:Girish,your wife is noteven raising her head even while you scold her.What is the matter?Girish:I told her that when she raises her head she is like 50 years lady and when she downs her head she is like a 20 years old lady.
Joke 14:-Rakesh:Sushan,every time your wife gets quarrel with you why does she go to mirror?Sushan:Once I slipped out of my mouth and told that she looks beautiful even in anger.
Joke 15:-Madhavi:Saritha,why do your husband sprinkles water on your head for every 10 minutes?Saritha:Not on my head.He sprinkles on the flowers on my head.Madhavi:What he does so?Saritha:He works in a florist shop.
Joke 16:-Wife:Can you remember your face and what is present on your face.Husband:Yes easily.But why are you asking this!Wife:Nothing much.The mirror before which you stand and shave always is broken.
Joke 17:-Gupta:I can't tolerate anything.I am so much irritative.Yesterday,my wife added poor quantity of sugar in my coffee.I made her both cheeks red.Bhanu:Yes,I agree that you get nice dreams in your sleep.
Joke 18:-Ravi:Raju,your house is very neat.Must have taken great effort to do this. Your wife is appreciable.Raju:You fool,I have cleaned all this house.Ravi:I know that.Thats why I told that your wife must be appreciated.
Joke 19:-Husband:Let us search for a handsome,rich and intelligent boy for our daughter to get married.Wife:Yes you are right,Don't be hurry in this matter and don't couple her with a useless guy as my father did.
Joke 20:-Kantham was talking to her husband.Kantham:Do you know that our neighbour Santharao is a useless fellow.Husband:Who told you?Kantham:His wife Santhi.Husband:Did you say anything about me to her?Kantham:Without saying anything about you how can she tell me about him.
Joke 21:-Husband:I am observing from on marriage onwards why don't you say ours? Always you and yours.Wife:Ok.Now go and bring flowers and bangles for both of us.
Due to power cut wife lightened a candle.
Husband: Put fan soon. I am sweating.
Wife: If I put-on fan candle gets offs.
Joke 2:-
Sneha:Manish you use to call me Rambha,Urvasi.What happened to you know?
Manish:How can I speak lie forever.
Joke 3:-
Husband:Oh my dear,what have you cooked today?
Wife:The same as yesterday's.
Husband:Then what have you cooked yesterday?
Wife:What I have cooked today.
Husband:Um....
Joke 4:-
4 women are talking at the bore well about their husbands'.
Woman 1:My husband's hair is black so I prefer black saree much.
Woman 2:My husband's hair is red so I prefer red saree much.
Woman 3:My husband's hair is white so I prefer white saree much.
Woman 4:My husband is having bald head so what! I can't wear any?
Joke 5:-
Husband:What ever you wear that will be beautiful.
Wife:Thats why,I married a person like you.
Joke 6:-
Husband:I have read in the news paper that if men talk 100 times,women talk for 200 times a day.
Wife:Yes,this is all because you men don't understand if we say anything once.
Joke 7:-
Husband:Today is our first night.Ask what you want.I will fulfill your desire.
Wife:You must be always like Rama who loved his only wife Radha.
Husband:I will be like his father(having 2 wives) who is much greater than Rama.
Wife:Then I will be like Draupadhi(wife of 5 pandavas).
Joke 8:-
Wife:Why did you all men where clothes?
Husband:Because of you all women.
Wife:If we are not in this world then what you will wear?
Husband:Then where is the need for us to wear clothes?
Joke 9:-
Wife:Look at him,he takes his wife every evening for a ride.You are also there but of no use.
Husband:What is great about that? I can also take her out if she agrees.
Joke 10:-Sarada:My husband never repeats a mistake he has done once.Sheela:Then he commits a new mistake every time.
Joke 11:-Husband:I am errased of this marriages.From now onwards we should be seperated. I will be at one side and you reside at the other side.Wife:Then I will be inside the house and you reside out side the house.
Joke 12:-Astrologer:Your husband is going to die in this year.Wife:Will I be caught to the police.
Joke 13:-Charan:Girish,your wife is noteven raising her head even while you scold her.What is the matter?Girish:I told her that when she raises her head she is like 50 years lady and when she downs her head she is like a 20 years old lady.
Joke 14:-Rakesh:Sushan,every time your wife gets quarrel with you why does she go to mirror?Sushan:Once I slipped out of my mouth and told that she looks beautiful even in anger.
Joke 15:-Madhavi:Saritha,why do your husband sprinkles water on your head for every 10 minutes?Saritha:Not on my head.He sprinkles on the flowers on my head.Madhavi:What he does so?Saritha:He works in a florist shop.
Joke 16:-Wife:Can you remember your face and what is present on your face.Husband:Yes easily.But why are you asking this!Wife:Nothing much.The mirror before which you stand and shave always is broken.
Joke 17:-Gupta:I can't tolerate anything.I am so much irritative.Yesterday,my wife added poor quantity of sugar in my coffee.I made her both cheeks red.Bhanu:Yes,I agree that you get nice dreams in your sleep.
Joke 18:-Ravi:Raju,your house is very neat.Must have taken great effort to do this. Your wife is appreciable.Raju:You fool,I have cleaned all this house.Ravi:I know that.Thats why I told that your wife must be appreciated.
Joke 19:-Husband:Let us search for a handsome,rich and intelligent boy for our daughter to get married.Wife:Yes you are right,Don't be hurry in this matter and don't couple her with a useless guy as my father did.
Joke 20:-Kantham was talking to her husband.Kantham:Do you know that our neighbour Santharao is a useless fellow.Husband:Who told you?Kantham:His wife Santhi.Husband:Did you say anything about me to her?Kantham:Without saying anything about you how can she tell me about him.
Joke 21:-Husband:I am observing from on marriage onwards why don't you say ours? Always you and yours.Wife:Ok.Now go and bring flowers and bangles for both of us.
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