WIFE & HUSBAND

Joke 1:-
Due to power cut wife lightened a candle.
Husband: Put fan soon. I am sweating.
Wife: If I put-on fan candle gets offs.

Joke 2:-
Sneha:Manish you use to call me Rambha,Urvasi.What happened to you know?
Manish:How can I speak lie forever.

Joke 3:-
Husband:Oh my dear,what have you cooked today?
Wife:The same as yesterday's.
Husband:Then what have you cooked yesterday?
Wife:What I have cooked today.
Husband:Um....

Joke 4:-
4 women are talking at the bore well about their husbands'.
Woman 1:My husband's hair is black so I prefer black saree much.
Woman 2:My husband's hair is red so I prefer red saree much.
Woman 3:My husband's hair is white so I prefer white saree much.
Woman 4:My husband is having bald head so what! I can't wear any?

Joke 5:-
Husband:What ever you wear that will be beautiful.
Wife:Thats why,I married a person like you.

Joke 6:-
Husband:I have read in the news paper that if men talk 100 times,women talk for 200 times a day.
Wife:Yes,this is all because you men don't understand if we say anything once.

Joke 7:-
Husband:Today is our first night.Ask what you want.I will fulfill your desire.
Wife:You must be always like Rama who loved his only wife Radha.
Husband:I will be like his father(having 2 wives) who is much greater than Rama.
Wife:Then I will be like Draupadhi(wife of 5 pandavas).

Joke 8:-
Wife:Why did you all men where clothes?
Husband:Because of you all women.
Wife:If we are not in this world then what you will wear?
Husband:Then where is the need for us to wear clothes?

Joke 9:-
Wife:Look at him,he takes his wife every evening for a ride.You are also there but of no use.
Husband:What is great about that? I can also take her out if she agrees.

Joke 10:-Sarada:My husband never repeats a mistake he has done once.Sheela:Then he commits a new mistake every time.
Joke 11:-Husband:I am errased of this marriages.From now onwards we should be seperated. I will be at one side and you reside at the other side.Wife:Then I will be inside the house and you reside out side the house.
Joke 12:-Astrologer:Your husband is going to die in this year.Wife:Will I be caught to the police.
Joke 13:-Charan:Girish,your wife is noteven raising her head even while you scold her.What is the matter?Girish:I told her that when she raises her head she is like 50 years lady and when she downs her head she is like a 20 years old lady.
Joke 14:-Rakesh:Sushan,every time your wife gets quarrel with you why does she go to mirror?Sushan:Once I slipped out of my mouth and told that she looks beautiful even in anger.
Joke 15:-Madhavi:Saritha,why do your husband sprinkles water on your head for every 10 minutes?Saritha:Not on my head.He sprinkles on the flowers on my head.Madhavi:What he does so?Saritha:He works in a florist shop.
Joke 16:-Wife:Can you remember your face and what is present on your face.Husband:Yes easily.But why are you asking this!Wife:Nothing much.The mirror before which you stand and shave always is broken.
Joke 17:-Gupta:I can't tolerate anything.I am so much irritative.Yesterday,my wife added poor quantity of sugar in my coffee.I made her both cheeks red.Bhanu:Yes,I agree that you get nice dreams in your sleep.
Joke 18:-Ravi:Raju,your house is very neat.Must have taken great effort to do this. Your wife is appreciable.Raju:You fool,I have cleaned all this house.Ravi:I know that.Thats why I told that your wife must be appreciated.
Joke 19:-Husband:Let us search for a handsome,rich and intelligent boy for our daughter to get married.Wife:Yes you are right,Don't be hurry in this matter and don't couple her with a useless guy as my father did.
Joke 20:-Kantham was talking to her husband.Kantham:Do you know that our neighbour Santharao is a useless fellow.Husband:Who told you?Kantham:His wife Santhi.Husband:Did you say anything about me to her?Kantham:Without saying anything about you how can she tell me about him.
Joke 21:-Husband:I am observing from on marriage onwards why don't you say ours? Always you and yours.Wife:Ok.Now go and bring flowers and bangles for both of us.